This means that:
- I am officially BETTER than JOHNNY FOREIGNER.
- I am officially BETTER than 86% of SO-CALLED BRITS, who FAILED, and who will surely soon be DEPORTED for TREASON.
While the actual test itself isn’t online, there is a guide to the topics. Flushed with success, I’ve had a stab at some of these too:
Q: Where have migrants come from in the past and why? What sort of work have they done?
A: Migrants have come from Overseas. They come here because Overseas is made of grease, disease and trickery, whereas Britain is made of beef, grit and pluck. They have taken our jobs.
Q: What is a CV?
A: A document whose contents purport to show your past successes but whose existence demonstrates your current failure.
Q: How is political debate reported? Are newspapers free to publish opinions or do they have to remain impartial?
A: Political debate is reported in the sports and showbiz pages. Newspapers are banned from printing facts but may publish as many opinions as they like, as long as those opinions are wrong.
Q: How many people in the UK own their own home?
A: It’s down to about 12 now. But those 12 are MPs, so they actually own 24 houses between them. Although some of those houses are for ducks.
Q: What do estate agents do? What do solicitors and surveyors do?
A: Nothing. Slowly.
Are YOU a good Britizen? Take the test. Or try Simon’s more practical alternative citizenship test.