Friday, August 10, 2012

If political interviews were like sporting interviews

Downing Street. A breathless, downcast Nick Clegg hobbles out of the door. Our intrepid reporter bags the first interview.

“Nick, second place in the long-distance Lords reform – how do you feel?”

“I just – it’s really emotional, I haven’t had a chance to let it sink in yet.”

“Because I know you had high hopes for this event.”

“Yeah, I’ve been in training so long for it, and to get this far is – well, it’s great, it’s an honour, but in the end I just wasn’t good enough.”

“But this has always been a strong event for the Conservatives.”

“It has, and congratulations to them, they played an absolute blinder. But I really wanted to bring home the gold for Team LD. And I gave it my all, and really that’s all you can do.”

“And despite that nasty fall where you fractured your credibility, this result is a personal best for you, so that’s something you can be proud of.”

“Yeah, I … I’ve never come so close to being able to achieve something before, and I just hope my team-mates and my family back home can find … I’m sorry … it’s all kind of intense, you know?”

“That’s OK, Nick. There’s no denying that silver is a great result, and doubles the LD medal haul after your bronze in the freestyle electoral reform. So where are you going to go from here?”

“Well, after my injury I’ll have to withdraw from the synchronised boundary changing, so my next big hope is 2015. We’ve got a lot of work to do, but we’re going to rethink our tactics so we can bring home the best result we can.”

“Nick, I’d better let you go. Best of luck with the recovery and we’ll all be rooting for you come 2015!”


He staggers away.

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