The quango state

There are too many MPs, those squabbling, thieving egomaniacs. There are too many ministers, those incompetent soundbiting bastards. And there are too many quangos, those unaccountable faceless bureaucracies.

The solution is obvious.

Sweep away all the anonymous little bodies that regulate this and administer that, and replace them with just one: Ofgov, whose sole responsibility will be to conduct the governing of the United Kingdom.

The need to have any ministers at all will disappear, and the need for MPs will be drastically reduced.

So we can cut the number of MPs to 12 – one per region. This should be just enough to fill the new Select Committee for Governmental Affairs, whose role will be to scrutinise the performance of Ofgov.

The vacated Commons chamber could be converted into something useful, such as a ping-pong stadium for the 2012 Olympics.