No jokes about puppies, please.
Cheryl Cole, the most wonderful and important person in all of Britain, has cast her vote:
"David Cameron. Brrrrr. Slippery isn't he?" she says. "We’ve always been Labour in our family, it just feels wrong not to be. Better the devil you know."
You can’t argue with that.
The distrust is not mutual, though: Cameron has previously described Cheryl as the “most fanciable” member of Girls Aloud – which, ironically, is the only thing he’s ever been right about.
(A festive tip of my Santa hat to Snowflake5. Smashing story!)