Friday, December 22, 2006

Just a fit of bun

Welcome to... the Freemania Christmas Cryptic Spoonerism Bafflement Challenge!

The Oxford clergyman William Archibald Spooner was prone to make a certain sort of verbal slip: getting the starts of words mixed up. He once told a congregation to “come into the arms of the shoving leopard”. And, to an errant student: “You have hissed my mystery lecture. In fact, you have tasted the entire worm!”

Ho ho ho. Your challenge, should you have nothing better to do than accept it, is to solve the spoonerisms below. Each one has a crossword-type clue for both the spoonerism and the original phrase.

Example: Rooney fleeced by retiring bowler
Solution: Wayne shorn – Shane Warne

Over to you…

(1) Computing firm triumphed – congratulations!
(2) Pastry falls apart, so get some cereal
(3) A pale circle of Tories
(4) Acquired some cows after a legal fight
(5) Crazy placards display rudeness
(6) A sweet line on low furniture
(7) Avoiding marsupials? You’ll need these afoot
(8) Soviet Supreme gives laid-back prescription
(9) Smut! Exaggerate the sailor’s dance
(10) Criminals and goats in hidden corners
(11) Father gambled, but couldn’t pay up
(12) Beseech God to lead us to the queer march
(13) Free cheese in martial arts movies
(14) Offensive style of all-you-can-eat
(15) Young Simpson – warmth keeps him alive
(16) Superlative monkey-spank in Palestine
(17) Enhanced security for the Royal Mail
(18) Flailed in the tabloid of shameless nationalism
(19) Lady’s DNA rebelled without a cause
(20) Baking speed heats – but hold-ups for stockbrokers

Health warning: spending too long trying to think of spoonerisms may lead you to mentally swap round every phrase you come across. Even as I typed that last sentence, I was thinking ‘Health warning… wealth horning? Is horning a word?’ This can cause mental anguish and impaired proof-reading ability. (Roof-preeding? Er, no.)

Answers in a few days. Merry Christmas!

[Update: answers here.]

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