To help you keep track of this orangey maelstrom, here’s a guide to the Runners and Riders (© lazy hacks everywhere) and their pitches for power!
(Disclaimer: The position of Lib Dem leader may not necessarily involve any power.)
‘If you elect me leader I guarantee that I will not run naked through the streets of London.’
‘I’m not David Cameron. Really, I’m not, and I wouldn’t want to be. I promise. But if you squint…’
‘Nobody’s ever heard of me. Not even Chris Huhne and Nick Clegg. So I really need to impress with this, my first notable public statement. I know! I’ll pontificate about moral philosophy while overlooking the basic first-year undergraduate distinction between act-utilitarianism and rule-utilitarianism. You like that? No? Well, OK, I’ll pull out, then.’
‘After my experience last time, I think it is highly unlikely that I will be hosting Have I Got News For You again. But in showbiz, you should never say never.’