Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Bring me the head of ‘Mr Patrick Chang’

I’ve received an email from a ‘Mr Patrick Chang’ of Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Hong Kong:

Greetings of the day to you. It is understandable that you might be a little bit apprehensive because you do not know me but I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest to share with you.

So far, so standard. Yet, for some reason, I read on. Towards the end it (almost sweetly) says:

Please if you are not interested delete this email and do not hunt me because I am putting my career and the life of my family at stake with this venture.

It had never occurred to me to hunt down and murder the sender of a spam email, but it’s actually not a bad idea.

So: I have a business proposal to you. If you will acquiesce to bring me the deceased head of ‘Mr Patrick Chang’, I will pay you US $100.000.000 million dollars. Please send me your bank account details and I shall wire the money to you, upon my receipt of a small handling fee necessary (US$200 dollars) to cover the costs of this transaction.

This proposal is entirely legal and acceptable and will be guaranteed to proceed without troubles.


TheWarmth said...

Your offer comes as quite a surprise after you describe the plea as "sweet."

Poor Patrick Chang!

Tom Freeman said...

I know, I'm fickle...

But I did check and there isn't really a Patrick Chang at Hang Seng Bank, so no actual assassinations (or legal proceedings against me for incitement to muder) are likely to happen!