Monday, March 01, 2010

‘If elected, I will jet off with rich businessmen to do their PR for them’

I have to agree with Red Rag: David Cameron’s attempt to turn a negative into a positive was painfully inept. In full:

And you know what, Gordon Brown sometimes says that I'm a bit of a salesman. And do you know what? I plead guilty. And I'll tell you why, because in this country, with all our difficulties, we are going to need some salesmanship. I want to get out round the world, not filling up the aeroplane with journalists, but filling it up with businessmen. I want to get out there and sell our country to the world, say these are the companies you should be doing business with, this is the place you should be investing, Britain's the best place in the world to come and set up and invest.

That’ll definitely stop the polls narrowing.

But if he does still get elected, then we’ll have to keep a close eye on who gets to go on these elite sales trips (taxpayer-funded, unless they’ll be flying Air Ashcroft) and whether they’d made large donations to the Tory election campaign. It would make sense: for the government to ‘pick winners’ is such an old leftist idea; if, however, these private-sector winners got to self-nominate in advance by picking the political winners, that would be much more… post-bureaucratic.

3 comments:

Chris said...

Shame there's no equivalent of photoshop satire for speeches.

And you know what, Gordon Brown sometimes says that I use gimmicks. And do you know what? I plead guilty. And I'll tell you why, because in this country, with all our difficulties, we are going to need someone who is praised excessively for memorising a short speech and delivering it without an autocue.

And you know what, Gordon Brown sometimes says that I went to Eton. And do you know what? I plead guilty. And I'll tell you why, because in this country, with all our difficulties, we are going to need as many people as possible who went to Eton.

And you know what, Gordon Brown sometimes says that I'm a glib opportunist who has never had an original thought in his life. And do you know what? I plead guilty. And I'll tell you why, because in this country, with all our difficulties, we are going to need someone who lets other people think for him.

And you know what, Gordon Brown sometimes says that I talk this country down. And do you know what? I plead guilty. And I'll tell you why, because in this country, with all our difficulties, we are going to need someone who thinks that Britain is like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Times two.

And so on.

Hughes Views said...

When news reaches certain Tory Associations that their leader is planning to encourage even more beastly "foreigners" to invest in Britain, Dave will become even less popular with them than he is today.

What? More of those frightful yanks like the ones who swallowed up our lovely Cadbury?!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha