Scientists admit: global warming ‘a big hoax’

By our correspondent Frank Blunt

The world scientific community yesterday confessed that so-called ‘climate change’ was a cruel trick that they had dreamed up to make us suffer. “It was at a party – or rather, it was during a party that we hadn’t been invited to. Again,” said a spokesprofessor. “We decided to invent reams of ‘evidence’ for a phenomenon that didn’t exist, just to confuse, frighten and annoy people.”

Further frauds have also emerged. An editorial in the Journal of Scientificality today confesses: “We also made evolution up for a laugh, just to see the looks on religious people’s faces. We didn’t expect anyone would actually believe it!” Other newly admitted hoaxes include the germ theory of disease, plate tectonics and gravity.