‘My God is an incompetent homophobe’

The floods in Yorkshire and elsewhere are divine punishment for – well, you can guess…

The Rt Rev Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle, argued that the floods are not just a result of a lack of respect for the planet, but also a judgment on society's moral decadence. "This is a strong and definite judgment because the world has been arrogant in going its own way," he said. "We are reaping the consequences of our moral degradation, as well as the environmental damage that we have caused."
…
"The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God's judgment, which is intended to call us to repentance."
He expressed his sympathy for those who have been hit by the weather, but said that the problem with "environmental judgment is that it is indiscriminate".

I want you to imagine for a moment that you’re all-knowing and all-powerful. There are some people in the UK who have been having The Wrong Kind Of Nookie, and a larger number of people who have supported The Wrong Kind Of Nookie Is Actually OK legislation.

This has made you mighty wrathful. And, what with your knowing exactly who these sinful people are and where they live, and what with your being able to do absolutely anything, you are in a perfect position to inflict precision punishment.

But instead, you send a load of rain to kill a few people and wreck hundreds of homes, “indiscriminately”. Although you do take care to focus your watery smiting on South Yorkshire and nearby counties (those renowned Hotbeds of Gayness).

To do this, you’d have to be a fool, and a morally bankrupt one at that – and that’s not even counting your homophobia.

But maybe, just maybe, this takes too narrow a view. Maybe the non-wrong-nookie-supporters on whom you inflict death and suffering aren’t really disadvantaged by this at all. Maybe the suffering helps them to develop greater stoicism and fortitude in the face of adversity and become better people. And maybe the ones that are killed, if they are suitably proper-nookie-having, will shoot up to heaven where eternal bliss awaits. Because of this, acts of God can have no collateral damage.

Which is, of course, the logic of the suicide bomber.