Friday, July 20, 2007

Why the f***?

Excuse the asterisks: I don’t want to lower the tone. That said, though…

Psychologists have identified 237 reasons why men and women have sex.
While love and attraction remain the clincher for many, for others it is about getting closer to God; gaining a promotion; revenge; or a way to get rid of a tension headache. Some of those asked said it was a reasonably effective way of overcoming boredom or burning up calories, while a few were attracted by the idea that it kept them warm, helped them fall asleep, or eased the stress of the day.

(Hat tip to Stroppybird – “Well call me a shallow floosie, but what other reason is needed other than its the most fun you can have with or without your clothes (or fishnets) on”.)

And at least now I can protest that no, I actually have a full 237 things on my mind.

I can’t find the full list of the reasons online, so I’m forced to guess at what it might include:

  • Because we had to keep the Romanov bloodline alive.
  • Because it says in the contract that I have to honour him with my body.
  • Because I have no self-control or emotional maturity.
  • Because I needed some excuse to leave a really boring party, and she looked like she probably did too, and then it would have been awkward not to.
  • Because after my 71 sisters, I was the only virgin left in heaven. It was ironic: while he exploded very quickly, he didn’t take any of us with him.
  • Because I’d accidentally taken two Viagra instead of aspirin.
  • I’m not really sure, I was a bit drunk.
  • Because I needed to distract her from my failings as a conversationalist.
  • Because I needed to shut him up somehow.
  • Because I needed something to say for this survey.
  • No, there must be some mistake. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

But no. Fun is definitely enough. Any more daft reasons, anyone?

3 comments:

anticant said...

Psychologists? Shameless con-men, more like.

James said...

I bet the list for women's excuse for not wanting to is far longer.

Tom Freeman said...

I reckon there's some comic potential there!