Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The 14 whoops

Why nail theses to the church door when you can just as easily post them online? That’s what the harrumphingly conservative ‘Global Anglican Future Conference’ (GAFCON) has done. And while Luther needed 95 theses, they’ve managed to sort Anglicanism out with just 14.

Because I’m so very, very respectful of religion, and concerned that its messages should travel far and wide, I’ve produced a digest of these – in accessible, popular language for the modern media consumer:

  1. Go Jesus!
  2. Go the Bible!
  3. Go the four Ecumenical Councils and the three historic Creeds!
  4. Go the Thirty-nine Articles!
  5. Go Jesus!
  6. Go the 1662 Book of Common Prayer!
  7. Down with women priests!
  8. Down with gays!
  9. Go preaching! (Do you see what we did there?)
  10. Make poverty history!
  11. Agree with us!
  12. Go diversity and freedom of opinion except in all those areas where we say boo to diversity and freedom of opinion!
  13. Agree with us!
  14. Go Jesus! And come again Jesus!

1 comment:

Matt M said...

Millennia of religious history to draw upon and the best they can come up with is a name that sounds like a cough medicine.