Thursday, September 07, 2006

Labouricks

Now, I’m extremely tempted to join in all this leadership timetable debate thingy. It’s a meaty personality issue and it’s ever so easy to find yourself captivated by it, like a pair of deer playing chicken, frozen in each other’s headlights with their feet on the accelerators, driving straight towards mutual annihilation. [Note to sub: please render simile intelligible before posting.]

But I’m not convinced that another bloke offering his tuppence-worth is going to help matters much, when what we should be talking about is things like how the minimum wage is increasing, and proper, important policy stuff like that. But dammit…

So, to set up a constraint on myself, as of now any comments I make on the leadership kerfuffle will be made in the medium of limericks.

He dropped vague hints he’d go in a year
Thinking none of his rivals would fear
But the brown hit the fan
And despite his élan
He may shortly be out on his ear.

Hmm. This really isn’t likely to constrain me, is it?

13 comments:

Tom said...

I'm sick to the back teeth with this.
It appears Gordon Brown wants to piss
Nine years' work down the drain
For his personal gain.
For God's sake, can't they make up and kiss?

Matt M said...

Now Tony Blair's set to resign
Brown's having a wonderful time
But John Reid's in the wings
Hoping to stir up things
And Cameron's feeling just fine

Scribbles said...

That's odd.

This morning I had a mind to write - not a limerick - but new lyrics to The Stranglers song "Golden Brown"

I came up with...

Gordon Brown
Facial features so glum
Lays Tone down
With his achievements

At the time, that was as far as it went, but I've just dreamt up...

Throughout the night
MPs will fight
Always a frown
On Gordon Brown

Well, I think I need to go and lie down now.

Simon said...

Now there goes the MP for Kirkaldy
Who was Brown, and disliked in the Lobby
He said, "I'll bring a knife"
To the Prime Minister's Wife
Who was sad, but still grinned like a donkey

Simon said...

Oh yes, Kirkaldy as pronounced, not written.

Tom said...

There was a young man from Kirkcaldy
Whose plans to take over were shaldy.
He soon got the knack
Of the stab in the back,
But he couldn't dispose of the baldy.

Tom Freeman said...

Guys, you rock. This is where the submissions seems to be collecting, so I’ll cross-post here the two I’ve done since:

So he’s not given an exact date
But a month here or there won’t change fate
Now we know he’ll be gone
Can we please just get on
Or are we too driven by hate?

Gordon Brown’s sworn a loyalty oath;
Tony Blair’s said he’ll quit, so they both
Can agree on the most
Vital thing, which is post-
Neo-classical endogenous growth

Matt M said...

There once was a PM called Tony
Who some people thought was quite phony
When it came time to stand down
And help Gordon Brown
All promises were pure baloney

Tom said...

A BBC journo called Nick
Found that proper debate made him sick.
So he covered instead
Gossip: who's in whose bed,
And who did what to whom with whose dick?

Andrew R said...

Learning to love second place
And play second fiddle with grace
Is far too much work -
Better take out your dirk
And (noseless) grunt "That showed you, face!"

Tom Freeman said...

We know who’ll inherit the crown
So scrapping just drags us all down
Regicide is folly
And Charles Clarke’s a wally
For trying it (early) on Brown.

The Thimble said...

It all goes back to the Deal
Over chianti and that North London meal
Now they’re fighting again
In the shadow of Big Ben
And the Tories are watching with zeal.

Colin Bailey said...

Your'e all trying to hard! Check out the definitive Gordon Brown Strangled parody here!
http://www.badtrackrecords.co.uk/gordonbrown.html
DARE YOU!