Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hell is other people

The Conservative Party is inviting me to “join the government of Britain”.

Here are some of the other people they’ve sent invitations to:

  • My boss
  • My boss’s boss
  • Kerry Katona
  • Piers Morgan
  • Cab drivers
  • Estate agents
  • Bankers
  • Disgraced former MPs
  • Nick Griffin
  • My weird neighbour
  • That kid I hated at school
  • Those bastards who still haven’t been convicted of Stephen Lawrence’s murder
  • People who find the ITV early evening news too complicated to follow
  • People who apply for all those incomprehensibly-titled public sector jobs in the Guardian but get turned down because they’re too petty-minded
  • The tenor in the Gocompare ads
  • In fact, everyone involved in producing any insurance ad
  • Jan Moir
  • Simon Cowell
  • People who feel that they really understand what it’s like to be poor because they’ve had to give up the gîte
  • People whose prejudices are as 1950s as the radioactive sunset on Labour’s manifesto cover

What could possibly go wrong?

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