Saturday, April 03, 2010

Real proverbs

  • He who laughs last is slowest to get the joke.
  • Absence makes the heart unable to pump blood around the rest of the body.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, unless the beholder has an oozing stye.
  • Easier said than done, especially for vows of silence.
  • Familiarity breeds web-footed children.
  • Many hands make giant horse.
  • Honey catches more flies than vinegar, though fewer than a big net.
  • In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is going to have real trouble finding someone who takes care of their appearance.
  • The Isle of Man is an island.
  • Rome wasn’t built under a Private Finance Initiative.
  • You can lead a horse to water, so build your glue factory next to a lake.
  • A bad workman gets more commissions because he’s cheap, and that’s why so many things are crap.
  • If wishes were horses, then horses would be Christmas every day, when the kids start singing and the band begins to plaa-aayy.
  • A journey of a thousand miles? Fuck that.

Any more, anyone?


Andrew said...

Judge not, that ye not be judged, unless you want a functioning legal system.

Amis is as good as Armando.

A Tory's home is his castle.

Don't teach your grandma to suck eggs, because she'll rightly think you're weird and take you out of her will.

Penicillin is the best medicine.

Look before you leak.

Never judge a song by its cover.

The best things in life are free, except chocolate.

septicisle said...

You could take a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

Andrew R said...

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong - especially if you've been generous with your bribes.

Always bring a knife to a bunfight.

Give a man a fish and he eats for today - teach him to fish and you'll soon lose your stickleback monopoly.

Violins never solved anything.

For evil to succeed, it is only necessary that it has a frickin' enormous satellite-mounted death laser.